Deep Thoughts by Jillian
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Why is it always "mother-fucker"? Why not "father-fucker"? Just the mothers, again taking on the load of all the fuckery. In today's society, isn't is about father-fucking time to find equality and divvy up the all the fucks more evenly?
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To dive deeper into my deep thought, I, like any serious researcher in 2023, put on my sweats, jumped into bed, pulled the blankets up and started googling. Hmmmm, I wonder when that became an official word. Googling became an official verb, added to Merriam-Webster in 2006. Ope, but then, in 2013 looks like Google got their big boy undies all tight in a wad about when and how to use this verb. Check this article out. https://www.nbcnews.com/technolog/no-googling-says-google-unless-you-really-mean-it-1c9078566 Hilariously, looks like the Swedes tried to add "ungoogleable" to their language. I can just see those hot, blonde Bjorn bastards in their cream-colored, cable-knit sweaters waving a big Hestra-covered middle finger at Google. Fan dig!
Damn you Google! You got me again with my squirrel fingers clicking onto link after link and into the ADHD vortex of Google. Why am I even on this computer? How has it already been 2 hours - are you kidding me!?!? I've just been googlefucked. Fucked by the time-sucking machine of Google. Ha, add that word Merriam. (Turns out a quick Google search shows this word is already in the urban dictionary.)
And now back to mother and fathers . . .
So, motherfucker is apparently one word. It is an official word in the Oxford, Merriam-Webster and other dictionaries. Comparatively, fatherfucker can only be found in on-line slang dictionaries and it is also an album name.
Definitions from Oxford Languages moth·er·fuck·er /ˈməT͟Hərˌfəkər/ noun VULGAR SLANG•NORTH AMERICAN noun: mother-fucker 1. a despicable or very unpleasant person or thing. (Bad) 2. a person or thing of a specified kind, especially one that is formidable, remarkable, or impressive in some way. (But also awesome) "that cover photo proves he is one talented motherfucker"
Apparently, "motherfucker" was first used in 1819 in an obscene manner meant against someone found to be offensive. I mean who would fuck a mother besides, of course, the father of their children. So, in a sense this person was protecting mothers in a "how dare you lay your hands on her" kind of way. The Godfather of "Motherfucker" - whatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty mighty good man. I mean how pissed was he to come up with that combo for the first time ever in history!?! Or maybe he was the father of the children. Regardless, I am going with it was chivalry that led him there. Bravo.
Oddly, when learning about the slang fatherfucker, though it can also be viewed as an offensive term toward a person or thing (bad), it also means exactly what the words say together meaning a person who engages in, yes .... incest (Ummmmmm.... ewwwww), and also someone who is homosexual (Whaaat? How does that make sense?). Brotherfucker and sisterfucker follow into the same backdoor of vulgar name-calling or incest or gayness. Sisterfucker, or "benchod" aka BC, is quite popular to use in India and sometimes in its OG abusive manner but also in a form of "sheer excitement or delight". Kids are gone, hubby is away and I've got the house alone to myself for a sisterfucking night of glory. Not to be confused with sitterfucker (although we did have an ex-hockey player, 6-pack ab-ed "Manny" - flashback to him in slow-mo shirtless jumping on the trampoline in our backyard).
Quick Review:
Motherfucker: Originally a form of slut-shaming men for adulterous acts. Yes.
A positive word proclaiming someone a rare, righteous and remarkable badass of a human or as close to Samuel L Jackson's Jules in Pulp Fiction, also an actor/character aficionado of the use of this word. Double yes.
Fatherfucker: Because of definition number 2 (vomit creeping up throat) I just can't (throwing up gesture) even go there (Blahhhhh!).
Brotherfucker: If you are going to swear, this just doesn't cut it. There is no power, no shock and awe. Rather it feels like a word for a bunch of sweaty Sigma Kappa Alpha frat boys getting fucked-up on shots of Jager bombs. "Yo, bruh, let's do another round and get brotherfucked!"
Sisterfucker: I guess, kudos to the people of India for really embracing this word. India, you keep it for you. India, the home of Gandhi, shrines, yoga and "sisterfuckers". Who knew?
Googlefucked: Sigh. Happens to everyone, everywhere, every god damn day. It turned from a word I thought I originated and was going to be given credit for (finally a JEM Wikipedia page) and now, it's just humdrum.
Conclusion:
Thanks to my "rose´-all-day" slippers and trusty laptop, I have actually concluded that when it comes to kinship and swear words, "Motherfucker" wins.
Mothers of today, we want it all. Mothers deserve the protection and love this word can offer. "Hey, don't be such a motherfucker". Mothers are also fierce, badass warriors who deserve the honor of this word. "Damn, girl, you are a one-of-a-kind motherfuuuuucker!" Thus, we mothers, will gladly keep, take and control all of the fucks - so no fucks for you.